Behind Lies
by misskanra
Summary: Shizuo is diagnosed with depression and finds comfort in Nakura, a stranger whom he meets in an online chatroom. Story told from Izaya's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

Hello!~ I've decided to put my writing to use and make a Shizaya fanfic. I plan on making this a long-term project, so expect many chapters to come ^_^

This is rated M for language and future smut. Reviews are much appreciated and I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

**_You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!_**

**_You both like suicide, and depression._**

You: Good evening!

Stranger: Hi

You: How are you today?

Stranger: I'm whatever.

Stranger: Um, and I don't like suicide or depression.

Stranger: I have problems I guess. And I felt like talking to someone about it or something.

You: What kind of problems?

Stranger: I'm depressed I think. That's what the doctor told me.

You: I understand. I have been dealing with depression for quite some time unfortunately. Are you suicidal?

Stranger: I don't know.

You: Hmm. Well, it is always good to talk to somebody. It helps a lot. That's why I come on these chat sites.

Stranger: I don't really talk to people.

You: Oh?

Stranger: I don't really know how to.

You: Aren't you talking to me? :)

Stranger: I guess.

You: Hehe you seem like an interesting person. Take that as a compliment.

Stranger: Okay.

Stranger: Can I ask you something?

You: Of course!

Stranger: Why are you depressed?

You: Well, life is difficult. And I spend almost everyday thinking and wondering why I am even here. What is the point in living, you know?

Stranger: I know what you mean. That question drives me crazy.

You: I've also lived a very tough life, since I was a small child.

Stranger: What happened?

You: My mother was very selfish and uncaring. She cheated on my father shortly after he was diagnosed with lung cancer. She would always come home drunk and yell at him, in front of my brother and I. Being in that sort of dysfunctional environment really messed me up.

Stranger: Oh. Sounds tough. Sorry

You: No need to apologize. After my father passed away I got out of that house and moved to the city. But, even though I managed to finally leave, I'm still not happy. I feel like I have nothing really to live for. As if I've lived this terrible life for nothing.

Stranger: I never had family issues, but I know that I have issues with myself. It's hard to explain

You: You feel like you hate yourself?

Stranger: Yes..

You: I hate myself too

Stranger: All I do is hurt others. Everybody is afraid of me.

You: People in this world just don't understand what people like us have to go through.

Stranger: Yeah, it really pisses me off.

Stranger: I've never been able to get really close to anyone.

You: Me neither.

Stranger: I feel like a monster. If I disappeared I don't think anyone would care.

You: Sometimes disappearing sounds so tempting.

Stranger: Yeah.

Stranger: I have to get some sleep. Thanks for the talk.

You: It seems we have a lot in common. I enjoyed it :)

You: Mind if I get your number? I'd like to talk to you again.

Stranger: Um okay.

Stranger: It's 3-5913-9760

You: Tokyo?

Stranger: Yeah

You: Same here! Mine's 3-5342-1534

You: I'm Nakura by the way.

Stranger: Ren

You: Nice to meet you Ren

Stranger: Yeah. Okay goodnight

You: Night night!

* * *

I close my laptop shut and let out a small chuckle.

Ahh, this will be fun.

My next victim of entertainment.


	2. Chapter 2

The cool autumn air feels refreshing against my pale exposed face. The decorated hood of my coat bounces lightly with each joyful step through the streets. Today feels like a wonderful day to observe what I love most in this world.

"Ah Izaya! You want Sushi? I give you good price!" the large Russian man asks with his usual big smile.

"No thanks, Simon. Not today!"

With a small wave I walk past the restaurant owner, continuing along the busy streets of Ikebukuro.

I let out a deep breath of air, feeling at ease amongst the crowds of people hurrying by.

This is my city. These are my people. It doesn't get better than this.

Remembering my conversation from the night before, I whip out my cell phone and text my latest project.

_Hi Ren! It's Nakura from last night. How are you today? _

A sly smile forms across my face.

It isn't necessarily a normal hobby, manipulating strangers online, especially suicidal ones, but oh how fun it is! I love it. They're so interesting, I can't help it! It's something I typically enjoy late at night, when I have free time. People seem more desperate at night too.

Hopefully this one will be more fun than the last one. She didn't even show up to our meeting place. So disappointing. All I wanted to do was see the look on her face when I told her the truth.

*BEEP*

I take the device out of my coat pocket with delight as Ren's response is displayed across the screen.

_Hi. Fine. Running errands. You?_

Seems he's not too big on words. Nevertheless, I never turn down a challenge. I will make him open up to me.

I quickly message him back, still prancing down the crowded sidewalk.

_I'm just at home. I don't really have any motivation to leave my house today. _

Oh, lying is just too easy for me. And obviously the only way I'll be able to dig deep, is for me to appear vulnerable. I need to get on his level, if not lower.

*BEEP*

_I don't have motivation at all. But I have to do what I have to. _

A bit more pleased with his longer response, I ponder over how I should reply next. That is, until I hear my name being called out from the opposite end of the street by a much too familiar voice.

"IIIIII-ZAAAY-AAAAAAAAA!"

Heh. Time to run!

I shove the phone back into my pocket and sprint towards the street corner, briefly turning to look behind and see what object he has decided to hurl at me this time. Street sign. Classic.

The crowd quickly separates as the blonde man in the bartender outfit swiftly chases me down to the next street over.

His swing misses me by inches, as I am too quick and articulate for him to catch.

I turn the corner in front of me, quickly slipping into the nearest alley way before he sees me. Leaning against the concrete wall, I watch as he runs past me and down the main street.

Hah. What an idiot.

I let out a sigh of relief, and attempt to catch my breath before I attempt to make my way back to my apartment. As soon as I decide I am ready to leave, the idiot appears before me once again, standing in the entrance of the alley.

He breathes heavily, tightly clenching the neck of the street sign with his right hand. His golden brown eyes burn furiously through his sunglasses. He looks disheveled and animalistic.

"Ahh, looks like you found me," I remark in an unimpressed tone.

"Iiii...zayy...yaaaaaa..." He breathes through his teeth, clearly still out of breath.

I quickly switch out the blade of the knife I always keep in my pocket and point it directly at the blonde monster blocking my way.

"Shizu-chan, why must we always go through this? I was just on my way home," I say playfully.

"Heh...Don't fuck with me. Wherever you go there's trouble," he retorts before making a second swing at me with his street sign.

I jump backwards gracefully, just missing his attack. I briskly make my way around him before he has enough time to make a third swing.

"Hehe, bye Shizu-chan!"

I make a quick wave, pleased with the look of disappointment on his face as I disappear down the street.

* * *

A bit relieved to be back in my apartment, I fall into the comfort of my cushioned chair and switch on my computer. Busying myself with work is another great hobby of mine. As an information broker in Tokyo, there is always something dirty and entertaining to dig up. I'm never bored with my work.

Taking a small break from my research, I open up the Dollars chat window.

Niro: Hey did you guys hear about that thing in a couple weeks?

Kanra: Thing? What thing?

Junko: Apparently someone from the Dollars is throwing a party or something, right?

Tanaka Taro: What? Really?

Akashi: Yeah, my friend told me about that. One of the Dollars members is going to throw a Halloween party at his apartment. Supposed to be nice.

Kanra: Ehh? Sounds interesting

Akashi: It's apparently for Dollar members only. Here's the link he sent me:

Akashi: Oh and you have to enter the Dollars password to view the invite

Instantly filled with curiosity, I click on the link.

* * *

_Dollars-Only Halloween Masquerade_

_When: Friday, October 31st_

_Time: 8PM_

_Where: 7-4-1 Nishi-Ikebukuro_

_Theme: Formal Masquerade (Wear Masks!)_

_* Removing of masks is not allowed *_

* * *

Tanaka Taro: That actually sounds like a fun idea

Junko: Yeah, like we get to have an actual gathering but still remain anonymous ;)

Kanra: Ahh this will be interesting!

Niro: See you guys there? Well, you know what I mean haha

Kanra: Of course! Don't forget your masks hehe!

Tanaka Taro: Looking forward to it!

* * *

I sign out of the chatroom and lean back in my leather chair.

I don't typically find much interest in parties, but the idea of a Dollars-only party... I can't help but feel like something very interesting is going to happen. And of course I want to be there when it happens.

*BEEP*

Looking down at the message on my phone, I realize I forgot to text Ren back earlier, thanks to a certain someone.

_Sorry to bother you. I guess I just need to talk to someone._

I quickly respond, telling him to send me an Instant Message so I can respond easier as I continue my work.

Seconds later a window pops up on my computer screen.

* * *

Ren: Hi

Nakura: Hello Ren! So what do you want to talk about?

Ren: Something happened today

Nakura: What do you mean?

Ren: Well there were these guys picking on some kid, trying to take his wallet or something. So I beat them all up. Pretty bad. The kid started screaming and crying. He called me a monster and ran off.

Nakura: I see

Ren: I was just trying to protect him

Nakura: Why?

Nakura: I mean, you didn't do anything wrong. You can't expect everyone to understand

Ren: I feel like when I try to do something right, it ends up being wrong.

Nakura: I know how you feel. People are so unappreciative. You are in the right, not anyone else.

Ren: You think?

Nakura: Of course! But at the same time, wouldn't it be easier if you could just forget about all of them?

Ren: What do you mean?

Nakura: Like, if you could just disappear

Ren: That would be too easy

Nakura: Then why don't you try it?

Ren: Because sometimes I feel like there's still a little bit of hope, maybe.

Nakura: I commend you for your optimism, Ren. I wish I could be more like you.

Ren: Why?

Nakura: Because I'm hopeless. I've already tried to kill myself several times. My family thinks I'm crazy and doesn't speak to me anymore. Nobody cares. Whenever you think someone cares, it is always fake. There's no such thing as real kindness. Everyone is selfish and only thinks of their own happiness.

Ren: Sorry. I think I disagree

Nakura: Oh?

Ren: Because, my sadness doesn't come from others, it comes from myself. I'm my own enemy.

* * *

Ahh Ren. You are going to be a lot more difficult than I initially thought. Challenge accepted.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

Here's a much shorter chapter, but I wanted to add something that focused just on "Ren" and Nakura's online conversations. The next chapter will be a longer one, promise! Enjoy ^_^

* * *

I spend the next week absorbed in my work and conversing with Ren. Slowly but surely he is opening up to me about his problems, and I'm finding it just a bit easier to manipulate him. Or, at least I am trying to. For some reason, he isn't like the others.

Ren: What's your favorite food?

Nakura: Haha, how random. I'd have to say fatty tuna. How about you?

Ren: I like sweet foods, especially milk with strawberry syrup.

_Yuck. Who the fuck likes such a disgustingly sweet and childish drink?_

Nakura: Ah, that's interesting.

Nakura: So what's with the random question all of a sudden?

Ren: I just like talking to you I guess.

Ren: It makes me feel a little better.

_Good. He's becoming attached. _

Nakura: Really?

Ren: Yeah

Nakura: I like talking to you too. I feel like you're the only one who understands me.

Ren: Same here.

Ren: You're easy to talk to. Which is a big deal for me

Nakura: Aw :)

Nakura: How is your new medication?

Ren: Fine I guess. I'm not used to medication and my doctor said it might take a couple weeks to start feeling the true effects.

Nakura: Does your doctor know you're suicidal?

Ren: Well. No.

Ren: But I don't know if I'd consider myself suicidal

Nakura: If you've thought about it, you're probably suicidal. But so am I so it's okay. I think that's why we relate to each other so well

Ren: Maybe.

Nakura: Think about it, do you think anyone would care if you killed yourself?

Ren: I don't know.

Nakura: Like I've said before, nobody truly cares. Of course they'd cry and complain, but not because they actually give a shit about what you do. People care only because they thrive on drama.

Ren: When you put it that way, it makes life seem so insignificant. Hah.

Nakura: Don't worry Ren, I care about you. Even if I'm just a stranger you met online, all that separates us is a mere screen. I'm real and I care. Because I know what you're going through.

Ren: So you'd care if I killed myself?

Nakura: Of course I'd care!

Nakura: Ren, if anything, I'd want to be there with you

Ren: When I kill myself?

Nakura: Yes. I'd do it with you if you wanted. So you're not alone when you go. We could disappear together.

Ren: No.

Nakura: What?

Ren: Nobody is dying with me. Nobody is getting involved. I won't do that to anyone.

Nakura: Why do you care what another person does?

Ren: Because

Ren: I care about others.

Ren: The only person I don't care about it myself.

Nakura: You don't resent anyone?

Ren: There are many people I don't like. Plenty of people piss me off everyday. There is one man in particular I hate more than a normal human could probably ever hate someone. But, even so, I don't wish any of them misfortune. Even him, the one I hate, I wouldn't wish him dead. I just wish he'd leave me alone.

_What's with this guy?_

Nakura: Hmm. I have someone I hate too, but I wouldn't mind seeing him jump off a twenty story builing.

Nakura: Haha

Ren: Anyways, I don't want you to disappear with me. I'll do it on my own if I want. I'm used to being alone.

Nakura: But you're not alone, Ren. You have me.

Ren: I have to get going. Work in the morning.

Nakura: Okay, goodnight Ren! :)

Ren: Goodnight


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

Thank you guys for the follows and reviews! I really appreciate it! ^_^

* * *

Nakura: Have you heard about the Dollars?

Ren: Yeah

Nakura: There's a Dollars gathering next weekend. I think I might go

Ren: Gathering for what?

Nakura: It's apparently a masquerade themed party!

Ren: What's that

Nakura: It's when you dress up and wear masks to disguise your face. Sounds fun eh?

Ren: It sounds stupid

Nakura: Aw you're no fun :p

Nakura: Hey, maybe we can both go!

Ren: So you're in the Dollars?

Nakura: Yeah

Ren: Me too.

Ren: Is that even a good idea? For a Dollars member to have a party like that

Nakura: Well the masks will hide our true identities

Ren: I guess

Nakura: So, wanna go?

Ren: No

Nakura: Aw why not?

Ren: I don't like parties

Nakura: But then we can meet each other :)

Ren: You want to meet me?

Nakura: Of course! I feel like I've never had a connection like this with someone before. You're the only person I can really open up to.

Ren: Oh

Ren: Yeah same

Nakura: And it won't be so bad if we're both wearing masks

Nakura: That way you don't have to show me who you really are if you don't want to

Ren: I don't know

Nakura: Please, Ren? I'd love to finally talk to you in person

Ren: Sorry.

Ren: I can't be around people. You don't understand

Nakura: What if I meet you before and we show up together? That way you won't have to be that uncomfortable, because I'll be there with you!

Nakura: Unless you don't want to be around me :(

Ren: I didn't say that

Ren: I like you

Ren: I mean, as a person

Ren: Or something

Ren: Shit forget it

Nakura: Are you saying I'm your friend?

Ren: Um if that's what you call it

Nakura: Aw, I'm so happy!

Ren: Then

Ren: You're my friend?

Nakura: Yes :)

Ren: Okay

Ren: Um I just have to wear a mask right?

* * *

As the weekend came, so had the night I planned to be my grand finale. However, it does make me a bit sad. Ren was such an interesting game piece. I definitely enjoyed playing with him the past couple weeks. His thoughts and problems are so pathetic, I love it.

Yes, I am very much looking forward to tonight.

We agreed to meet twenty minutes before the Dollars party at a bench next to the main intersection. Hah. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I finish him off. At a party. Full of people. People that make him uncomfortable. People that are afraid of him. People that I love.

I put on a white button up shirt and a black jacket, completing my ensemble with a matching black tie. Believe it or not, I do own at least one formal outfit. It is only for rare occasions of course.

I slip on my black slacks and walk towards the bathroom. Contemplative over changing up my hair for the night, I finally decide to comb it to the side. It really does not suit me, but tonight I am not Izaya Orihara. Tonight I am Nakura.

A simple black mask decorates my small face, framing my maroon eyes.

Alright. I'm ready.

* * *

A cool evening breeze brushes against my face as I exit my apartment. Prancing along the sidewalk in excitement I send Ren a text letting him know I'm on my way.

_Just left my apartment. See you soon!~_

Not even ten seconds later I hear my phone beep from inside my pocket.

_Same._

Oh Ren. I'm very excited to see what kind of person you really are.

Several blocks away from my destination I decide to take a small shortcut I haven't been through in a while. Being an information broker, and periodically chased all over town for years by a certain someone, you could say I pretty much know all the ins and outs of this city.

Walking down the narrow street, I remember how dark it can get around here at night. I look up and notice a half moon, gently illuminating the black sky. I'm almost at the end of the street when I notice the large silhouette of man leaning against the concrete wall, smoking a cigarette. Tonight I don't need any trouble. I quickly walk past him, until I feel a firm hand on my shoulder pulling me backward.

"Ey. Where do you think you're going dressed like that?"

The moonlight hits the right side of his face, making out several distinct features. He is considerably taller and bigger than me, with tattoos climbing up the side of his neck. His eyes are sharp, looking straight into mine as he puffs secondhand smoke into my face.

"Ey, you don't talk or something?"

The man grabs the front of my shirt and pulls me closer.

"Excuse me, I was only on my way to a social gathering," I say through the grin on my face.

Hah. These types of people never know what they're getting themselves into.

"But if you really want to stop me, I guess I have no choice but to let you try."

In an instant, I reach for my pocket to switch out the blade to my pocket knife.

Wait.

It's not in here.

Then I remember I'm not wearing my usual coat.

Shit.

"Oh, confident are we?" the man snorts with a nasty smirk on his face.

Without hesitation, I kick the man in his shin as hard as I can, jumping backward with skillful speed. When I think I'm free to run, I feel a pair of hands grab my arms from behind, locking them in a painfully strong grip.

"Hahahaha," the man laughs in my face, giving an appreciative nod to whoever is holding my arms from behind.

Then it hits me hard.

At first I'm being punched. Over and over and over again. But after that, it feels worse. Heavier. Deeper.

The pain strikes through my skull, rippling through my body in waves. When the beating is done, the pain remains, sinking into every nerve. Something warm trickles down my face. I think I'm bleeding. I want to get up. But I feel like I'm glued to the ground. Everything is going black. Blacker than it was before.

I can't even see the moon anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for all the reviews and follows, you guys are awesome! ^_^ And so the story continues!

* * *

Ugh. Why is it so damn bright? Where the hell am I?

I difficultly attempt to open my eyes, squinting from the irritating light above me. I blink slowly several times, as the blurred ceiling above my head becomes clearer. I move my eyes around the somewhat familiar room. I recognize it. I...Wait. Why am I here? What happened?

I quickly sit up from the bed I'm resting in. A sharp pain makes its way through my head. I suddenly feel unsteady. I cringe at the discomfort, bringing my hand up the the source of pain.

What? Is this a bandage?

As my mind starts spinning, in walks Shinra with half a smile on his face.

"Ah, you finally woke up."

Finally woke up?

"What happened?" I demand sternly, trying to hide any hint of panic in my voice.

"You were in a pretty bad accident," he says more seriously, nudging his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "You got jumped on the street by a couple of thugs. Seems they took your phone and wallet too. They beat you hard. You're lucky."

Obscure images flow through my mind as I try to recall the fight. It is too unclear. All I can remember is the pain, thanks to my throbbing headache. I remember feeling...helpless. And it was dark. So dark. I couldn't even see the...

"REN"

"Ren?"

"Ren! I was on my way to meet Ren! And there was supposed to be a party, and then some man approached me, I remember!"

"Okay, okay, Izaya. Just take a deep breath. You shouldn't be getting yourself worked up right now."

That's right. I remember now. I was on my way to meet Ren. I took a shortcut. I forgot my knife. I was knocked out. It all happened so fast. But then, how did I get here?

"Why am I here?"

Shinra's eyes flicker away from mine for a moment. I've noticed in the past, he does this when he is nervous or trying to hide something.

"Ren."

"Huh?"

"Ren brought you here," he quietly replies.

"What?! How?!"

"If it weren't for him, you'd probably be seriously hurt, or worse."

"I don't understand."

Shinra closes his eyes for a moment and takes in a deep breath.

"He came across the fight when he was on his way to meet you. He saw two guys beating you so he approached them and fought them off. He saw you laying there with your mask, and realized you were the one he was on his way to meet. So, he rushed you here and basically yelled at me to help you."

"Where did he go after? Why isn't he here?"

"Well, first of all, you've been out for two days straight. Secondly, when we removed your mask, he saw your true identity."

"My true identity?"

By now, his stern eyes are studying me intently.

"Izaya. Who is Nakura?"

I break eye contact, resisting the urge to fiddle with my thin fingers. I also have nervous habits, believe it or not.

"That's not your business, Shinra."

"Maybe not. But I consider myself your friend, and as a friend, I don't think it's right for you to be doing these sorts of things."

"Hah, and what am I doing exactly?" I reply almost amusedly.

"Lying to people!" You're lying to people Izaya! Don't you realize what you're doing?!"

Shinra is clearly agitated now. I have rarely heard his raised voice in the past, especially not towards me.

"Ah, you are afraid I'm going to hurt someone? You shouldn't exhaust yourself worrying over pathetic people."

"I'm afraid you're going to hurt _yourself_."

Shinra's face is a combination of frustration and worry. A subtle crease is visible between his eyebrows, and I notice dark circles beneath his framed eyes. He looks like he hasn't slept at all the past couple days. It can't be because of me. No way. The only person who can truly care about about me is myself.

Breaking the tense silence, I laugh casually.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being my doctor the past couple days of course! Much better than visiting an uncomfortably confining hospital."

His familiar smile finally comes back, putting me at ease.

"You should be thanking Ren."

"Hey, what did you mean by Ren leaving after discovering my true identity?"

"Well, can you honestly say you're surprised?" Shinra teases, releasing a small chuckle. "With an infamous reputation like yours, there's bound to be a handful of people that truly hate you."

"Ah, true, true," I reply, almost proudly.

"Besides, discovering that the person you've been talking to is actually someone else can be pretty upsetting. Especially if they trusted and confided in you."

"Way to make me feel better," I snap back sarcastically.

"I'm just saying, I don't think it's fair to Ren."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. Enough with the lecturing. Hey, how do you know Ren anyway? He must've known you if he decided to bring me here."

"Uh, yeah. Ren is an acquaintance, I guess you could say."

"Hmm. I see."

"I must admit, seeing you dressed like that while wearing a mask would have been hilarious if it weren't for the situation you were in," Shinra confessed, tying to hold back his laughter. "I didn't think you were into those types of events."

"I'm not, but it was a special occasion," I reply with a sly smile.

"Ren must be special, eh?"

Shinra's smile falls slightly.

"Hahaha. I guess so."

I don't know how much of our relationship Ren revealed to Shinra, but I wasn't about to tell him every detail, especially not my real motive. What I do is my business, not his.

"Rest up and you should be able to return home tomorrow. Oh, and I have some leftover stew in the fridge I'll heat up for you. It's Celty's specialty!"

Little did I know how truly terrible Celty's cooking actually was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**

This week has been so crazy! Moving away, starting school, gahhhh. Thanks for being patient! Enjoy! ^_^

* * *

It's been almost a month since the night of the alleyway incident, and I haven't heard from Ren since. It's a bit of a strange situation, you could say. He recognized my true identity. I'm no longer Nakura to him. For him to avoid me like this, he must know me, and he must very much dislike me. Perhaps hate might be a better term.

The other strange part is that this person saved my life. Of course that was before he realized who I really was. Who knows if he would have done the same for Izaya Orihara. I've never been in a situation like this. It really was just a careless act on my part. Leaving without my knife. Dressing up as if I had someplace high-end to attend to. But of course, those were the last things on my mind. Nothing ever happens to me. I am smooth and cunning, and can talk my way through any situation. These types of things don't happen to me.

Yet, for probably the first time in my life that I can recall, somebody had to help me. I had to _depend_ on someone else for my own life. The act of somebody selflessly helping another, I don't understand. But the feeling it gave me, knowing another person cared enough to help me, has me intrigued.

I believe humans only do things to benefit themselves. Humans are selfish. They will lie and cheat just as much as they will lend and give help to get what they want. Help is only given when something will be returned. Money, bribes, sex, love, recognition. It's all for beneficiary purposes. I know this through my observations. The people I interact with and watch on a daily basis all have this in common. It's one of the many things that intrigue me about humans. I myself don't go out of my way for others unless I know I will get something from it, which most of the time is pure enjoyment. Take Ren for example.

What I want to know is Ren's motivation. Why did he help me? What does he want out of this? Would he have left me there and walked away if he knew who I really was? I guess you could call it the second part of my little experiment on humanity, with Ren as the test subject of course.

There's also something else about that night. Something I don't exactly want to admit or think about. The fact that my life could have been stolen away from me if it weren't for Ren, disgusts me.

* * *

"He clearly doesn't want to talk to you Izaya. It's been a month, give up already."

"Are you really going to deny your long-time friend over some acquaintance of yours?"

A long pause divides the argument, followed by the sound of Shinra's defeated sigh.

"Fine. I'll give you his address."

"Really?"

"Yes. But don't try anything Izaya."

"Heh? And why not?" I ask innocently.

"Because I know you. And, well, I know him."

"And?"

"And I...I don't know...I just have a bad feeling about this."

We're only speaking through the phone, but I can sense the hesition in Shinra's voice. Though, he isn't exactly good at hiding his emotions. What is he nervous about? I could tell from our previous meeting he purposefully wasn't telling me everything about Ren. But why? Just this alone is leaving me wanting to know more. And I can't wait until I do.

"I only want to thank him for saving my life," I say casually, concealing my smile through my words.

I mean, I guess I should at least thank him for going through that trouble right?

"Nothing else?"

"Nothing else."

Though I'm not completely telling the truth, I'm not exactly scheming anything. I'm just curious. No harm in that, right?

* * *

Thoughts fill my mind as I walk down the busy streets of Ikebukuro, anxious to arrive at my destination. I'm not quite sure what to expect. I am rather excited to finally see the face of my rescuer, particularly what the look on his face will be when I surprise him at his doorstep.

Light mist falls from the blanket of dark clouds above me as I inhale the wet air into my lungs. I am almost to my destination when I see a familiar blonde-haired figure walking against the crowd across the street from me. Ah, well I guess I can play with him for a little bit.

I slow my pace, waiting for him to notice me. I wait for the familiar call of my name. I wait for the street signs, dumpsters, and vending machines to come flying my way.

I look directly at him as our paths come closer together, confused as to why he hasn't noticed me yet. He can usually sniff me out from the other side of town. As he comes closer toward the merging intersection, I notice he hasn't once lifted his head up the entire time. Something feels off.

The intimidating expression he usually wears isn't visible. Not even the least bit. His broad shoulders are slouched forward, pulling away from his typical threat. He looks...normal. Aside from his unnaturally delinquent-dyed hair, he blends in easily with the blank faces of the crowd. He even appears somewhat sad. He never looks happy, but that's only because he always looks angry. But this...I've never seen him like this.

Before I realize it, we are about to cross paths. I continue studying him, confused and honestly irritated he hasn't noticed me. His head cocks up and for a brief moment we make eye contact. Without his glasses on, I can see perfectly into his rusty brown eyes. As quickly as our eyes meet, his turn away, refocusing on the wet street surface as he swiftly moves past me across the intersection. Even if it were for a split second, I saw it. A look that I notice so easily in other humans. A look that, on Shizuo Heiwajima, is unrecognizable.


End file.
